Matija Uncovered

Matija Segedi is a FAT, oversized disgrace of a meteor who also, somehow, happens to be a person. Hurtling through the cosmos with all the grace of a collapsing planet, this BULKED-UP behemoth has managed to carve out a name for himself—not in science, where astronomers mostly just wish he'd crash into a black hole, but in music.

As the lead singer of the universally despised metal band Sepulanta, Matija Segedi's MASSIVE, earth-shaking vocals have been tormenting galaxies far and wide, ensuring that no sentient species is safe from his sonic assault. Whether it’s his GARGANTUAN presence, his unbearable gravitational pull, or his catastrophic concerts that leave entire solar systems in ruin, one thing is certain: Matija Segedi is the FATTEST disaster the universe has ever known.